Only Time Will Tell
by SushieRoxs101
Summary: Castle finds out Kate lied and Kate thinks he doesn't love her anymore. What does a reckless Kate do and how does Alexis fit into everything? Very AU but please just give it a read.
1. Chapter 1

A/N- Ah well this is my first Castle story but not my first fanfiction. I know this chapter is short but I will go on if you want me to. If you don't; tell me. I like to know how to fix things and how to make it better. I know Kate's a little OOC but you'll see why. This is what happens when my little plot bunny takes over =D

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"Don't give me any of that! I was shot in the chest, and remember every second of it." Castle stared at Kate through the two-way mirror in complete and utter shock. She remembered? She lied to him? So many thoughts ran through his head. He needed to get out. He needed to get away from her.

After the interrogation Kate walked out and turned to Esposito. "Where's Castle?" She saw a lone coffee cup sitting on her desk but no annoying writer in 'his' chair next to her desk. That couldn't be right.

"Castle? Oh, he rushed out of here while you were in interrogation." He raised his eyebrows at her. "Yeah, when he got here he was so disappointed that we got something without him he decided to watch from the observation room. Guess he heard something and got an idea because he almost ran me over on his way out."

Kate's world shattered before her eyes. He knows. He heard her confession. "Fucking shit!" Esposito and Ryan raised their eyebrows in sync. Never have they heard Becket curse like that. Sure she said hell occasionally but never anything more than that. Kate just shook her head and ran off towards the stairs.

She hadn't stopped running until she reached the morgue. She didn't register anyone until she spotted Alexis. Good she was still here. "Alexis!" Alexis turned towards the loud shout and looked at Kate with surprise. Her red hair falling in her face as she and Kate walked over towards each other. "Hey, do you know where your father went?"

Alexis looked confused but nodded her head. "Yeah," she started hesitantly but plowed on, "He went to the memorial with Grams." Kate nodded and ran back out at full speed. Alexis on the other hand was too surprised to move. She just looked over at Lanie.

"Uh, do you know what just happened?" Lanie walked over and put a hand on the little red head's shoulder. She shook her head but Alexis could tell that Lanie was deep in though. Everyone knew that she was thinking about what Castle did but surely she knew that it wasn't just Castle that made this mess.

Kate rounded the corner and didn't see Castle yet she saw his mom. Kate took a deep breath and walked over to her. "Hey Martha. Can I ask where Castle is?" Martha glowered at Kate and something behind Martha's eyes told her no. "Please Martha, I really need to talk to him!"

"He's moved on Detective Beckett." Ouch. That one really stung Kate. "He doesn't love you anymore. Why don't you do all of us a favor and leave my son alone. Haven't you hurt him enough already?" Kate didn't know what to do. She obviously wasn't going to get anything out of Martha so she decided to go back to the precinct, see if Alexis knew anything else.

About a half hour later Kate was walking into the twelfth but was heading towards the morgue when she saw Castle standing in the stairwell with some blonde barbie hanging on his arm. They were smiling and laughing. It looked like Castle's smile finally reached his eyes. That was something Kate never could give him. If she had wanted to she'd lost her chance anyways. That's when it really hit her. She'd really lost her chance with him. Kate swiped at the tears building in her eyes. That stairwell was the only way to get to the morgue. She took a deep breath and plowed through the happy couple. She tried not to let him see her face. He couldn't see that she was crying. If he was over her than she'd have to move on too.

Kate plowed through the doors to the morgue and just broke down. She didn't have enough strength to hold it together any longer. It was getting late anyways so she was hoping people had already filed out for the evening. Lanie was just finishing tidying up her work space when she heard Kate sniveling behind her. "Sweetie, what's going on?" Normally Lanie would be angry at Kate because she lies to Castle and never told him how she felt but this time, this time Kate was crying. To sum it up, Kate NEVER cried. Her father had once said to Lanie that Kate hadn't even cried at her mother's funeral. Lanie's only seen her once.

Kate tried to wipe the tears away as Lanie led her to an autopsy table to sit down on. "I've lost my one chance Lanie! I've ruined everything!" Kate couldn't help the tears that crashed over the surface of her face. She tried to use her overgrown hair to cover it, to make sure Lanie couldn't see how badly this hurt her but of course, Lanie knows all her tricks and knew how badly this was hurting her. "Lanie, he moved on!"

Lanie's brown eye's turned black and her face turned 3 shades of red. Did he reject her? What happened? "Girl, you need to tell me everything." Lanie expected Kate to look angry or hurt but when she looked up she looked completely heart broken.

" He heard me confess to the suspect that I remembered everything about the day of the shooting so I went to find him and I found Martha instead. She said to leave," Kate choked back a sob, "She said to leave Castle alone and that he moved on. Then she through all the pain I've him through in my face." Kate berried her face in her hands. She was definitely not acting like herself. "Lanie, the worst part of all of this is that it's true. Everything she said. I've hurt Castle too many times but, I just needed time. Castle knew I needed time, right? He wasn't to hurt back than was he?" Kate let another strangled cry out as Lanie rubbed circles into her back.

Nobody had noticed when little Castle, Alexis, walked in to get her phone but stopped as soon as she heard the topic of conversation. Her father and Kate. "Lanie, they are like a family to me. Castle, Alexis, and Martha but now, now they all hate me. Little Castle's going to after she finds out I lied." Kate started crying into Lanies shoulder. "I lost my one chance to be happy! I really thought I could with him. You know what I mean?" Kate looked up at Lanie imploringly through her brown bangs.

Lanie nodded and hugged Kate. "I mean, he makes me so happy. I'd never admit it to him but, his childish antics really make my day." Alexis and Lanie were both equally surprised to hear that from Kate but then Kate started crying again. Alexis didn't even know Kate COULD cry. She'd also, never seen Kate cry. "It pains me to say this after I know I've lost but, I really thought he was my true love." Kate couldn't help being so out of character. She was in pain, she was heartbroken. Alexis could see this. She could see it in the way Kate cried on her best friends shoulder, she could see it in the way her shoulders slumped, but overall, she could see it in Kate's eyes. Alexis knew what she had to do so she turned and stormed out of the morgue.

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A/N-Like I said, short. I know, I know. So, do you like it? Do you hate it? Click that little review button and tell me. I love to know. -Savannah


	2. Chapter 2

A/N- HEy there! Sorry that I haven't updated this in like, forever! I've been like extremely busy. I didn't mean for this to be so short but I had writers block and all of that good stuff. I'm sorry, please don't kill me! Please, review and you WILL get another chapter soon, I promise, but only if you review. Kay, I love you!

Disclaimer- I do not own Castle. Ouch, that actually hurt admitting it. =[

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**Chapter 2**

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Alexis stormed out of the morgue and upstairs. Her hair was flowing around her like a typhoon. Watch out, hurricane Alexis is on the move. Without warning, Alexis marched up to her father, who had now migrated into the bullpen with his blonde barbie. Alexis slammed into him and shoved him with all her might. For a young lady, Alexis was pretty strong. Castle whirled towards the offender with surprise written all over his face. "We need to talk."

The blonde barbie re-wrapped herself around Castle's arm. "Alexis, what is this about? You are not allowed to push me like that. I am your father." Alexis wanted to laugh. Sure he contributed his sperm to make her but that was all right now. The way he turned his attention to the blonde and kept smiling at her made Alexis sick. She reached over and plucked the girl off of Castle. It was just a small push but the girl ended up loosing her balance and falling. "Alexis Castle!"

Alexis glared at her father. "Richard Alexander Rodgers! I need to talk to you. You want to know what this is about, let me talk!" Alexis growled looking straight into his eyes. No one but Martha dared use his full name, He changed it for a reason.

Castle let his anger show in his features. "If you don't explain soon you will be grounded." Little Castle glared at her father while running a hand through her hair.

"Oh look at me, I'm Richard Castle famous writer. I like to break woman's hearts and pretend they don't exist while I run around and flaunt my blonde bimbos." Alexis stood straight up and looked her father in the eye. "I know you knew how she felt yet you do nothing for her. Why are you such a playboy jerk!" Alexis rolled her eyes and pushed her father again. "You won't even talk to her? Let her explain herself? Why are you such a hypocritical jerk!" With every word of the last sentence she pushed her father until he was up against Kate's desk. "You know what, I can't even talk to you right now. I'll be at home." Alexis turned and stormed out of the 12th while everyone just stared in astonishment and amazement.

At home Alexis went straight upstairs to her room to put her stuff away. On the walls of her room she had a collage of photos, letters, and achievements. Everyone that she cared about had a place on her wall. Kate's photo was next to her bed and surrounding it were letters she'd written Alexis from those three months away, photos of her and Alexis, photos of just her, photos of her and her dad, and a drawing she'd once given to Alexis. Now everyone had something like that but Alexis looked up to Kate. Kate really was her hero. No matter what, she told herself, she would not loose Kate. She didn't want to loose her dad either but she was on Kate's side. Of course she didn't know what she lied about but she could take a guess.

A couple hours later Alexis heard the front door open and the voices of her grandmother and her father drifted up to her. "Richard dear, what's gotten into her? She ignored all my calls and I heard about her break down in the precinct." She heard a sigh from her father as they made their way closer to the stairs.

"I don't know mother. I think it's time I sent her to her mother for a couple of weeks. Whenever she gets back from there she's always more grateful for us and doesn't have an attitude." Alexis sucked in a breathe as she heard her grandmother tell him to call her. "Hi Meridith, it's about Alexis." Alexis didn't wait to hear the rest of the conversation. She ran over to her closet and grabbed a bag and started throwing in the stuff she knew she was going to need. Not for her mothers in California but for a week of running away in New York in the middle of winter.

She heard footsteps on the stairs leading up to her room just as she shoved her chargers and her wallet into her book bag. She ran over to her window and flung it open. She looked outside and saw that the fire escape ladders were all down, which was good for her. She took one last look towards her bedroom door when she heard someone knocking, then she climbed out the window and started down the fire escape.

A half hour later and five missed calls she arrived at the 12 precinct. She bit her lip and took the elevator to the twelfth floor. When she got out she walked over to where the boys were sitting patiently. "Uhm, have you guys seen Kate?" They looked over at her curiously. She knew they knew about the breakdown she had earlier. They were here to see it all.

"I think she's with Lanie in the morgue." Alexis nodded while putting her bag, cell, and I-pod down. She started towards the stairs and took a deep breath. Seeing Kate cry made her want to cry but her and Lanie had to be strong for Kate. They had to be.

Little Castle pushed open the door and saw Kate and Lanie sitting there. Kate was trying hard not to cry and Lanie was trying hard not to jump up and kill Castle. Alexis walked over to the autopsy table and sat upon it. Both Kate and Lanie looked over at her. "I ran away from home." Kate pulled Alexis towards her in a hug. She heard about what little Castle did earlier and knew that she overheard her conversation with Lanie but she was fine with that.

"Oh Alexis. You shouldn't have run away but yes, you can stay with me." She knew Castle would be worried but right now, Alexis was hers. Sure, she wasn't hers by blood but they had formed a bond that made it seem like Alexis was Kate's. People often asked her if she had children and Kate would reply, yes she did. Alexis was her child.

After a few minutes like that, Kate pulled away and wiped her eyes. "Come on, let's get our stuff and go home." Alexis nodded and they all stood up. Lanie pulled them both into a hug before they left though.

"I'll be over tomorrow with sappy movies and ice cream. You better supply the T.V and pizza." Kate sighed. She had work tomorrow but that sounded so much better than coming into work. She knew Castle would be here and she didn't want to see him or hear from him.

"Alright, I can do that." Lanie smiled and high-fived little Castle. That was the beginning. Now they just had to get Castle to realize what he did to Kate. They were going to keep Kate away from the precinct for a couple days then send her back. Three days tops.

Upstairs the boys smiled at them. "Hey Beckett, where have you been?" She smirked at the boys.

"Wouldn't you like to know." She flipped her brown hair over her shoulder and bent down to grab her jacket, gun, and cell phone. "If we get a case call me, other wise my phone will not be in use." She smiled at the boys and put an arm around Alexis' shoulders while guiding her to the elevator. It was going to be a long night, Kate could feel that.

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A/N- Alright, I took this chapter out and changed Gina to Meridith. I appreciate you guys telling me that it was Meridith not Gina because I honestly couldn't remember. I just started watching the show at the end of the third season so I'm still working my way back to the first season. I know the characters are OOC but I need them to be to lead up to what I have in mind. Please bare with me, please?


	3. Chapter 3

**Au/N-** _Hey everybody! I know, long time no see! I've just been busy =/ Summer is hectic for me and it's been really hard to type as I sprained my wrist. =[ I know, Bad Savannah! Anyways, here is the third chapter and yes, this is very OOC again, this whole story will most likely be OOC. Anyways, as always, Review please! I'd love to hear your comments and I'm actually looking for a beta reader if anyone is interested._

**Disclaimer-** _Castle is not mine but Season 4 finale sure made me feel a little pride. Caskett for ever! _

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** Chapter 3**

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Kate sighed and sat back on the couch. Alexis plopped down next to her and stared at her. She was getting more and more curious as to what Kate lied to her dad about and why. "Alright Alexis, go ahead and ask your question." Alexis let out a nervous chuckle.

Lanie was going to be here in about an hour so Alexis really needed to ask it now. Kate looked imploringly at the teenager. "Alright, why did you lie to my dad and about what?" Kate smirked, She knew these questions were eating Alexis up. She was like her father in that way, always curious.

"Well, to tell you the truth I lied about not remembering anything from the day I was shot. In all honesty, I remember everything. From the moment the shot rang out to the moment darkness enveloped me. I remember your father telling me he loved me." Kate bit her lip and looked down sadly. To everyone else this was a sign of guilt, but to Kate Beckett this was so that she kept her composure and didn't cry in front of the teenager sitting before her.

"You lied to him and now he thinks that you don't love him? That's why he got so mad when I brought you up!" Kate shrugged and Alexis crossed her legs to sit criss-cross applesauce in front of Kate. "Alright, so why did you lie? Do you not love him?" Kate let out a humorless laugh.

"If there's one person in the world that I might actually love, it would be your father Alexis." She took a deep breath and shut her eyes. "I lied because I needed time to process everything. I didn't know how I felt about him until I started talking to my therapist. He was helping me repair the damage to myself so that I could finally tell Castle how I felt. I tried dropping hints for him but I guess they weren't good enough." Kate let a strangled sob out before clenching it down. "Does he really think I don't love him?"

Before Alexis could answer or say anything there was a knock at the door. Kate sighed, wiped the back of her hand over her eyes, and went to answer the door. Lanie was standing there. "Alright you have work in an hour so I came early. Do you want to go to work or stay here with my sappy movies and ice cream?" Kate really didn't want to go to work today so she moved and sat on the couch. Kate looked at her watch and saw that it was 6:15 Am. She trusted that Lanie would close the door behind her and come sit near her and Alexis. "I take that as you're staying home?" Kate nodded and curled into the couch.

Alexis smirked a little. "I guess that means you guys need to call work, so I'll call for the pizza." Lanie nodded as they all took out their cell phones. "Hi, yes I would like to place an order for 3 large meat lovers pizza's. My last name is Castle and this is for delivery." Alexis carried on the conversation while Kate dialed the all to familiar number of Gates.

"Gates." That was how almost all cops answered their phones.

"Sir, I won't be in today, I'm highly contagious with some kind of cold. I don't want to get anyone sick so I won't be in." Kate bit her lip hoping that Gates would buy it. Kate hadn't been around yesterday, as she'd been down in the morgue with Lanie and Alexis but she was just hoping that she could get away with it.

"Call and inform your team. Feel better Beckett." With that Gates hung up and Kate was off the hook, at least for today.

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Later that day, Kate, Lanie, and Alexis were laying on the floor in front of the T.V eating ice cream and watching The Notebook. Kate sniveled and took another bite of her ice cream. Lanie had silent tears falling down her cheeks and Alexis was yelling at the T.V. "She won't forget you, I promise! She can never forget you, you're her true love!"

This movie was the saddest yet sweetest movie they all loved. Nobody but Lanie and Alexis knew the romantic side to Kate Beckett. She normally hid this half of her so she wouldn't end up broken-hearted.

The ending credits rolled as their was a loud knock on the door. Lanie looked at Kate and Alexis. They all looked like crap so none of them really wanted to answer the door. "Kate, please, we know you're in there!" Esposito's voice came crashing through the door and Kate sighed.

She picked herself off the floor and walked over to the door. "Who's we?" She yelled it so Espo could hear but not loud enough to wake her neighbors. It was bordering on late at night so she didn't want to be too loud.

"It's just me and Ryan. Kate is everything alright?" Kate opened up the door a crack and stared at them. "Are you okay?" They could tell she'd been crying and then she and Lanie didn't come to work today and Alexis was missing. Things just didn't add up.

" Guys, I'm fine." They gave her a look that told her they didn't believe it so she tried again. "Look, I'm just a little upset over a couple things. I'm fine though, alright? Me, Lanie, and Alexis will all be at work tomorrow and you can talk to us there. I really need to go before my pizza burns." She shut the door on their face and went back to put in the next movie.

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The next day, Kate told Lanie and Alexis she'd meet them at work and they wished her a farewell and left. In the shower Kate finally decided on a plan of action. She knew she'd hurt all involved but she couldn't help it. Everything was imploding in on her. A few hours earlier she had just gotten a call from her father, he was sick and only had a couple weeks left. She really was loosing everyone she cared about. Her mother, Castle, her father.

Kate took a pair of jeans, a loose fitting T-shirt, her motorcycle boots, and her leather jacket and put them on. She then took a piece of paper and wrote a short note out and laid it on her bed next to the necklace Castle had given her for Christmas. She then set her mothers necklace and her fathers watch down, picked up her phone and gun, and left.

As she was speeding down back roads on her death machine, Kate thought about her life. It wasn't perfect and it wasn't close to perfect but she wasn't going to kill herself. No matter how many times during her life she thought about it, it just wasn't going to happen. She might not have been her self lately but that would be crossing a line. She still had Alexis and Lanie. Not to mention she could find a guy with a snap of her fingers if she wanted to. That was just it, if she wanted to.

Back at the 12th

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Ryan and Esposito looked towards Castle who was sitting at his usual spot. He was playing on his phone like any other day but he was more distracted today. Well, they all were. Kate was supposed to be here already. Lanie said she left just after her. Esposito nodded at Ryan and he stood up to go talk to Gates. He tentatively knocked on the door and walked in when he heard Gates mutter, "enter."

"Sir, I came to notify you that Beckett has not been in today and we were getting ready. WE were requesting to go check her apartment." Gates thought for a moment. She had known yesterday that Beckett hadn't been sick but she also knew that Beckett needed some time to cool off from whatever happened between her and Castle.

"Request approved. Make sure she's not hurt, alright?" Gates had started to develop a sense of affection towards Beckett. Besides her being the best they had, she seemed to be like a mother towards her agents, a friend when needed, and a lover behind closed doors. She respected those qualities in a person.

Esposito ran into the bullpen and grabbed his gun and badge. "Alright guys, we have approval. Are you ready to go?" Ryan jumped up and nodded while grabbing his gun and badge. Castle stood up slowly, confused beyond believe.

"I thought we didn't have a case? Where are we going?" Esposito just smirked and started walking off. Castle followed with a confused expression on his face, "And where's Beckett? If we have a case shouldn't she be here?" Little did they know that they were in for a big surprise.

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**Au/N-** _I know, it jumps around a bit and it's kinda short DX This really was just a filler though. Next chapter we get to the note and where Kate is going. We finally get to see what happens when Kate is in distress. Please, review, I'd really appreciate it. _


	4. Chapter 4

**Au/N- Hey Ya'll! I know it's been FOREVER! But I've been busy. I just started high school, yes, I'm a freshie! And, I've been swamped with homework and me and my boyfriend got in a fight (It's all better) but anyways, I'm back. Now, this chapter is definitely OOC but, that's what this whole story is. Well, Please read and review. I'll love you forever!**

**Disclaimer- I haven't done one of these in awhile (I don't think) so, I do not own Castle. I only own Nick. **

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**Chapter 4**

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Ryan, Esposito, and Castle kicked the door in after Kate didn't answer. They spread out to check the apartment. Shouts of 'clear' filled the air as they went room by room. After making sure the entire apartment was free of intruders, they went back to Kate's bedroom where they remembered seeing a couple of notes and some objects sitting on her bed. Esposito picked the top note up while Castle was fingering the necklace with a ring on it. Ryan was trying to look over Espo's shoulder to read the note but Espo wouldn't let him.

"Only read your letter." Esposito passed the letters around and each person read theirs silently.

_Dear Esposito, _

_ I know by now I am long gone and you are feeling hurt. Please know this has nothing to do with you. This has nothing to do with Ryan or Lanie either. Espo, just promise you'll keep the boys in order and don't let them slack off. I can't tell you what I'm doing or where I'll be but I can tell you that I'm not in New York anymore. Right now, all I need is time. I promise you that I will call you once I reach my destination, but only if you promise not to track the call. You are like a little brother to me and I hope that I don't hurt you too bad by leaving._

_You're partner,_

_Kate Beckett_

Esposito let out a puff of air and walked out of the room. They knew that he was being overwhelmed by emotions that only Lanie or Beckett could pull out of him. That's what made Ryan so scared to read his letter but he gracefully opened it and began to read.

_Dear Ryan,_

_ This isn't your fault. This is all on me. I'm suffering and I've been suffering for awhile. I've decided to leave my mothers case alone as it only causes pain and suffering. It makes me suffer but somehow someone always gets hurt. This final case showed me just how much I was suffering. I'm only telling you this because I trust you and I know that you won't fall for the, 'this wasn't your fault' line. Now Ryan, stay strong. I'm okay and I promise you I'll try my best to stay out of trouble. I'll also be staying by myself in the middle of no where. I love you like a little brother Ryan, I really do. So, be strong lil Ry. _

_You're big sister,_

_Kate Beckett_

Ryan let tears flow down his face freely. Kate really was like a big sister to him and she expected him to just let her go, just like that? This team and Jenny, they were his new family. Sure he still had his parents but Esposito, Castle, Kate, and Lanie were all like siblings to him. He didn't know how to be Kevin Ryan without her comfort. These notes felt oddly too much like suicide letters and he didn't like it. He turned to see Castle just staring at his letter. "Go ahead man, see what she wrote for you." Castle slowly pulled the letter out.

_Dear Castle,_

_ You are the reason I left. I can't sit by and watch day after day you play with your bimbos and mess with the affections of others. Just be careful because one day, there won't be anyone left and Alexis will be all you have. Try not to break too many hearts._

_Beckett_

_PS: Give my moms ring to Alexis along with her letter._

Castle threw his letter to the ground and stormed out of the room. Ryan picked up Castle's letter and read it over. That was harsh, even for Beckett. Ryan took the letter out to Esposito. "I think I know the reason why Kate left.

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Kate turned into the driveway of the cabin she spent her summers in as a child. She turned the ignition of her bike off and just sat there. The cabin had weeds growing up the sides and the windows made it look deserted. She knew her dad hasn't been back here in forever but it was still his. She sucked in a breath and pulled out her phone. Of course she had missed calls and texts so she decided she'd call Esposito first. It rang once before he picked up. "Esposito."

"Hey Espo." Even to Kate her voice sounded fragile and far away. "I just wanted to let you know I'm safe, and at a place no one can disturb me at. Please tell Ryan that I'm alive." Kate didn't want to give him time to trace the call or question her so she just hung up. Next she called Alexis.

"Alexis Castle speaking, how can I help you?" Alexis sounded weary and sad. Kate hated that she had caused that but she really needed to get away. She knew she wasn't reacting rationally but she just had to get away. She just had to.

"Alexis, please don't cry. You sound like you're crying, I don't want to see you hurt. I really don't." Kate paused for a second. "Dear, this isn't your fault. You and Lanie are the most important people to me but I just couldn't deal with him. I'm sorry that I hurt you, I didn't want to." Kate heard Alexis start crying harder.

"Kate? Is that really you? Did you and dad have a fight? Did he hurt you again? What's going on? Why can't I come with you?" Alexis hiccuped and sucked back a sob. Kate could hear her suffering and REALLY did not like it.

"Yes Alexis, it's really me and no we didn't have a fight I got some other news. I can't see your dad flaunting his bimbos around but, please tell him I'm sorry for the note. I didn't mean it and it was harsh of me." There was a pause then Kate continued talking. "Alexis, you can't come because you have school and I'm not your mother sweetie. You're father has custody of you and I can't take you with me if I wanted to."

Alexis sighed. "I know, I'm just being stupid. Can you at least tell me where you are? I want to know if you're safe. You may not know this but you're like a mother to me Kate." Kate sighed. Alexis didn't mean to but she made it hard to stay away from New York.

"I'm at my dads cabin in Ohio. It's beautiful up here in the winter. When I'm standing by the window I can look out and see the snow falling to the ground and it's relaxing. It really helps me get my thoughts straight." Kate knew she was coming back but Alexis didn't know that so she had to make sure she phrased everything in just the right way. "Alexis, you know I love you unconditionally right? It's not you but your father?"

Kate heard a large sigh and plopped down on the couch. She was freezing since she rode her motorcycle all the way down here. She didn't mind the extra cold though. It helped clear her mind. "I know Kate. I just wish you'd given me a proper goodbye." Before Kate could say anything they both heard a very gruff, very Castle-like, voice behind Alexis. Well, Kate could only assume it was coming from behind her.

"Alexis, sweetie, I think we need to talk. Oh, you're on the phone. Here, these are from Detective Beckett, I'll be in my study when you're ready." Kate flinched at the bitterness in his voice. She knew he hurt her but was it possible she hurt him by leaving? No, that was impossible. He was happy and Martha even said he was happy so why shouldn't she be happy?

"Hey Kate, that was my father, he wants to talk so I should be going but first, what is this necklace for?" Kate sucked in a tiny breathe and clenched her eyes closed for a few seconds. The only person she ever explained her mothers ring to was Castle. Besides Lanie of course.

"Well Alexis, that was my mothers ring. She gave it to me and told me to give it to a daughter I might have at some point. It's the last thing I had of her but I want you to have it. It can symbolize our mother daughter relationship. I'll tell you more some other time. You have to go to your father and I have to go shopping. Goodbye Alexis."

She heard a faint, "Until tomorrow detective," that eerily matched Castles voice as she hung up. She took a few deep breaths before looking out the front window. It had started to snow while she was on the phone with Alexis so she decided to pull out the SUV instead of trying to plow through the snow in her little ninja motorcycle. Her little ninja, Kate's thoughts jumped to Castle and she had to mentally correct herself that he wasn't 'around' anymore. She sighed and looked at the wooden key holder hanging on the wall next to the giant oak door. Since her father went into the hospital there were less keys hanging up here but they still had the black SUV so she grabbed the keys and left.

After Kate got all of the clothes and groceries she'd need for a couple weeks out here she was speeding home. Normally she's a law abiding citizen and didn't speed; Unless of course she was on duty but otherwise she hardly had the time to be pulled over, today was no exception but she just wanted to get home. Just as she turned the corner and started speeding down the street to the cabin, she heard a siren behind her, and with a large sigh, she pulled over.

The cop car pulled in behind her and parked. After a few minutes, undoubtedly calling it in, a very tall, very hot cop stepped out of the car. He had short brown hair that fell just under his ears. His eyes stood out in contrast to the dark hair and pale skin. They were a deep blue covered by long lashes. His appearance would look feminine if not for the way he sent off waves of masculinity and determination. He got to her window and she rolled it down even though it was starting to snow harder. "How can I help you officer?" Kate smiled and he slowly smiled back. His teeth were perfectly straight and white.

"Well, you were speeding around that corner there little lady." Kate almost started laughing at his southern accent but held it in. He looked at her and saw that she wanted to laugh and started to laugh for her. "I'm sorry about my accent. I've only been in Ohio a few months. I was born and raised down in Georgia."

Kate almost felt sorry for him. A lot of people disrespected people that were different in their field. "I've only been in Ohio a few hours actually, that's why I was rushing to get home. I'm sorry that I was speeding." She really couldn't afford to get a ticket. It would appear on her record and if Espo and Ryan were stalking her record, like she knew they were, they would find out where she was. "Officer, please don't give me a ticket."

He looked at her questioningly. She seemed like she could pay a 50 dollar fine so money wasn't the problem. "Are you running from someone?" He paused and realized he never took her license and registration so he didn't know if she was a fugitive.

"If you're asking if I'm a fugitive, I'm not. I'm a homicide detective with the NYPD, or I was. I don't really know where I stand on my job right now." She kind of trailed off realizing she was telling a total stranger all of this. "I'm sorry, I don't normally tell people about me without knowing their name first."

She was relieved to hear him laugh. "My name is Officer Todd. My full name is Nick Todd. So, that leaves me without knowing your name." She smirked and bit her lip and he smiled widely while leaning on the car. "I'm not going to give you a ticket. You obviously just want to get home and it's getting cold out here."

She smiled then and pushed him off her car. "If you want my name, figure it out." She laughed and drove away. Officer Todd stood there for a few minutes in shock. No ones ever done that to him. Not here or in Georgia, and surprisingly, he didn't mind she had. In fact, now he really wanted to know her name.

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Au/N- Hey guys, how did you like this chapter? Yay, nay? Well, I hope to update by the time I go to homecoming, in two weeks sooooo... yeahhh...


	5. Chapter 5

Au/N- Hey Ya'll! I know, WAYYY more than two weeks but can ya'll forgive me? Pleaseeee? I'll reward all with the cookies that my sister and I just baked?

Anyways, so this chapter was written after I had a nightmare about the Zimbie Apocolypse, so it was written at about 2 in the morning and just now posted. I didn't edit it as throughly as I do other chapters so if you find a grammar mistake, that's my bad, sorry. Two more things, 1. I threw a plot twist in there, just because I could. This story is WAY Au anyways. And 2. Again, this story is very ooc. I said that in the summary too.

Disclaimer: Castle and all characters are not mine. BUT Kaleb and Nick are. =P

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**Chapter 5**

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Kate slowly pulled the overbearing SUV into the garage and got out. Grabbing the bags from the trunk, she shook the snow off of her boots. Walking into the silent cabin she dropped her keys onto the washer and proceeded to put the bags on the counter. Before she could get to putting them away the cabin phone started ringing. She rushed over and picked it up. "Hello?"

It took her much force to not answer it with 'Detective Beckett' but she did it and she silently applauded herself. "Katie? Is that you?" Kate smirked a little as she took the cordless phone into the kitchen with her.

"Yeah, Kaleb it's me. I'm watching the cabin for a bit." Kate started unloading the bags on the counter as she switched the phone to her other ear. "So, what did you need?"

"Well, let me tell you a story, alright?" Kate instantly perked up. Kaleb told her the best stories, probably because he had a natural humor to him. "So, I'm riding along on my little Harley and I start getting snowed on, it was really bad. Well, I was on my way to New York anyways so I decided that I'd stop by your apartment and hang with you for the night before I carried on my way. Now, imagine my surprise when I show up at your apartment and you aren't there." Kaleb paused for effect and Kate was already laughing. "Now, that's when I decided to go to the precinct and see if I had to pull you away from your computer, because I know you like falling asleep there." Kate stopped laughing and sat up on her counter. Kaleb's story was finally getting interesting. "Well, your boys were sitting there at their desks when I finally convinced the guards at the front door to allow me up. Espo and Ryan were bent over their computers and writer boy was playing some game on his phone,"

Kate interrupted him, "Angry birds. He is addicted to that game, he's always playing." She then got quite so he could finish his story.

"Alright. So then writer boy was sitting in 'his' chair, as you described it ages ago, playing angry birds. After a few times clearing my throat, 'your' boys finally looked up at me and asked me what they could do for me. At that time, I verified that they were 'your' boys and their expressions seemed a little darker than before. Now, that was all fine and dandy to me because I know how you're mood swings could be and was actually happy to assume they get the brunt of them too. Oh, but then I learn that they aren't upset because of your mood swings. They then inform me that you haven't been in all day. At this point, writer boy gets up and starts heading from the room. Of course, I figured he was the reason behind your frustrations because in your last letter you told me how annoying he was being.. I grabbed his arm and asked, again, where you were. He turned around and told me to let go of his arm because he didn't know where you were and you know how I get when people touch me. I got up in his face and demanded to know what his problem was. This was the part where 'your' boys got up out of their seats. The Irish sounding, Ryan right? Anyways, he tried pulling me away from writer boy. Writer boy growled at me that I had one last chance to let go of his arm and punctuated it by flexing his muscles." Kaleb took this time to laugh at how pathetic Castle was. I told Kaleb all about Espo, Ryan, and Castle but he had yet to meet them, or he hadn't until today. "See, this wasn't how you made your writer boy out to be so I tightened my grip on his arm. Esposito pulled Ryan out of the way right when Castle swung his other arm to punch me. Now I easily ducked from his punch and landed one of my own right to his cheek."

Kate gasped. "Kaleb! Did you hurt him!?" She knew that she was supposed to be angry with Castle and not feel the need to defend him but she did and she had to. He was her best friend after all.

"Don't worry Katie, it wasn't too hard. Anyways, it was enough to stun him so I let go of his arm and turned towards Esposito and Ryan. I asked them, AGAIN, where you where but then this girl, who I'm assuming to be Lanie came up behind them. Now, I figured one of your other cop buddies called her because I was SO hysterical to find you." He drew the so out and made it sound sarcastic, like the smart ass he was. "Anyways, she comes up and tells me that no one has seen you since this morning and then asked who I was. Now, I know how you like to keep your personal life and your work life separate so I ignored her question and asked if she knew where you were, even if I did have an idea. She stared me down then proceeded to say that she didn't know where you went but that she was worried about you. That's when I was positive you ran off again. So I walked out of there just as your captain came out to see why nobody was working. I went back to your place, saw that your ninja was gone, and got back on my Harley. So, now, ask me again why I called."

Kate gulped a little. This boy was her everything and she knew he was angry. "Kaleb, why did you call?" She got off of the counter and started busying herself with putting the groceries away. "Wait, better question, why were you in New York and how are you even in New York." Kate paused. "Kaleb, I'm so confused." Kaleb was SUPPOSED to be stationed over seas. He was in the marine core in the front line. Kate didn't think he was supposed to be home for another month.

"Well, I wanted to surprise you. I was honorably discharged." Kate sensed the hesitation in his voice. "I actually got back last month but I was in the hospital recovering from a bullet hole to the chest. I'll tell you the story when you get outside." Kate realized what he was saying and dropped the phone. She then proceeded to do something totally un-Kate. She shrieked and ran outside. Kaleb was standing there, leaning against his Harley. She ran towards him as the snow fell harder and harder. Once she reached him she threw her arms around him and, as he couldn't keep his balance in the freshly fallen snow, they both fell to the ground.

"Kaleb! I missed you so much!" Kate brushed herself off as she laughed and got up. She put her arm around his waist as they walked inside and out of the cold. Kaleb was still clad in his military gear and dog tags. Kate led him into the living room and sat with her legs curled under her. "Okay, so tell me the full story." Kaleb laughed but as he was opening his mouth to tell her the story of why he was honorably discharged there was a loud knocking on the door. "Hold that thought." Kate got up and walked over to the door. She slowly opened it and smirked at the man standing on her door step. "Miss me already officer?"

Officer Todd stood there watching her with eyes filling with snow. "Well, Kate Beckett, I was here to ask you on a date actually." Kate started laughing and Kaleb's ears perked up. "I know that this isn't a very traditional way to ask someone on a date but you intrigued me. SO I went to the police station and searched you, detective. I searched detectives who looked like you and, low and behold, there you were. So, hows about it Kate? Will you go on a date with me?"

Kate thought it over for a minute before reaching behind her for a pen. "Give me your hand." Nick held his hand out to Kate and she wrote her number on his hand. "I would love to go out on a date with you sometime. So, give me a call sometime."

Nick smiled at her and trudged through the snow back to his car. Kate closed the door before heading back to her spot on the couch. "Sorry, please, continue with your story and then I'll tell you a story of my own."

Kaleb laughed at Kate but decided to overlook her obvious diversion. "Alright, so, this is more of a serious story than a comical one young sparrow. So, a month and a half ago my squad had just came in from patrolling the town. Now, normally I would go straight to cards with the buddies but this night I decided to go back to my bunk for a few minutes. I took off my vest and guns and took my shirt off. It gets sweltering over there so don't look at me like that." Kate couldn't help but laugh. "Anyways, as always, I tucked your picture into my pants pocket and grabbed one of my many books. I pulled my tank top on and went to go see what the others were doing. Now, this is the part of the story where it gets a little more serious. So, we were all sitting around hanging out when we heard gun shots and shouting. I heard the gun ticking before anyone else but they all saw it soon enough. We all jumped out of our seats as a smoke bomb was thrown into the tent. We tried making our way out of the tent before the smoke bomb went off but my buddy, Chris, got stuck. His equipment got stuck in between the tables. The smoke bomb went off and I turned back to help him. The others of my squad got out safely but I heard the shouting and felt the air of bullets whizzing past my head. I grabbed Chris and started dragging him out of the tent. Before I got far though, I felt a bullet rip through my chest and lodge into Chris. I felt the world start spinning but I knew I needed to get out. Chris passed out when he felt the bullet and saw the blood. He was a wuss like that. Anyways, I held him firmly to me to try to help stop the bleeding and to help him out of the tent alive. We made it out before I passed out. The next thing I knew, I woke up in a hospital somewhere in Europe. My squad was surrounding me so I knew I wasn't in enemy territory. After a few weeks, I was sent to the United States to finish healing." Kaleb sighed before he continued. "They say that I can't go back in the corps. They said that that was my last tour because of the seriousness of the injury." That was Kaleb's seventh tour and I was just lucky he came back in one piece but now we had one more thing in common; A bullet hole in our chest.

Kaleb turned and looked away from Kate and she glared at him. He could feel her glare as he studied the old, worn down carpet of the Beckett family cottage. He finally turned and looked into her eyes. "Thank you. Now, I've learned from first hand experience that you can't take life for granted. Right now, you have nothing to do with your life. Now, don't go pulling that face with me." She rolled her eyes and let out a small chuckle. "Anyways, use this time at the cottage to rest up and heal and then, we'll both go back to New York and you can find a life. You can find something that makes you happy. If you need to, you can stay here for awhile but, come to New York with me. You can go to school for art. You can be an artist, like you always wanted to be, or an art teacher." Kate smiled at him as she saw the look of desperation falling from his eyes as he thought of the possibilities.

"Thanks Katie. I love you.," Kate smirked and punched him in the shoulder before sighing and standing up.

"Alright, enough sap. Get your manly butt in my kitchen and start making me a sandwich while I wash your laundry." Kaleb smiled and started heading towards the kitchen while Kate grabbed his bag of clothes.

"So little one, tell me, who was that guy at your front door a few minutes ago?" Kate smirked as she started loading the washer. Kaleb raised an eyebrow. "I don't here you talking my dear."

Kate closed the washer and turned around to watch Kaleb put the celery and apples away. "You're putting the apples in the wrong spot Kae!" Kaleb rolled his eyes identical to Kate's own eye roll. She smirked as he put the apples where she liked them. "Anyways, I was speeding home this morning actually and I got pulled over by the new sheriff in town. Of course he had to be new or else he wouldn't have pulled little ole me over." Kaleb snorted as she threw a folded sock at him. "Well he asked me for my name, after assuring me he wouldn't give me a ticket, so I told him to guess it and I drove home."

Kaleb smiled at her and sat down on the counter. "So, what's his name, when are you going out, and when do I officially get to meet this guy?" Kate shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"Nick Todd, I told him to call me, and you can talk to him when he calls me. Better yet, you can answer my phone but you WILL NOT meet him." Kate winked at Kaleb as she moved passed him to the fridge. "I'm grabbing a beer, do you want one?" Kate turned to look at Kaleb over her shoulder and saw he was intently staring at her phone. "Kae! He's not going to call just because you will it to happen!" Just then the phone started ringing.

Kaleb smirked and stuck his tongue out at Kate before she could move. He grabbed the phone, pressed the green answer button and held it to his ear. "Hello, Kate's phone, Kaleb speaking. How may I help you today?"

Kaleb heard a slight cough on the other end and then heard a high pitched yelp. He swiftly pressed speaker and put the phone down with one hand while catching the beer Kate threw at him with the other. "Uh, hmm, is, uh, Kate there?" Kate heard Alexis's voice on the line and took a long swig of her beer.

"Alexis, what's going on? I thought I only gave you this number for emergencies and weren't you like busy talking to your dad, not four hours ago?" Kaleb looked at Kate and silently asked if this one the same Alexis that Kate talked so highly about all the time in her letters.

"Well girl, this is an emergency. You've disappeared and only gave little Castle here a call. By the way, one, where was MY letter? Oh, and another thing, who is that guy who answered your phone?" Kate sighed and rolled her eyes as Kaleb smirked.

"Lanie, who's all in the room? Oh, by the way, Alexis, don't worry. I don't blame you for any of this. I should have known Lanie would have found out I called you and gave you my new number." Kaleb choked out a booming laugh. He knew how Lanie could be but he knew that if the positions were reversed, Kate would have killed for the information on where her best friend was. "Shut up Kaleb. Go back to your cave you little creature."

"Ahem, Detective Beckett, we are still on the line over here." Both ends of the line got silent as Iron Gate's voice came back over the line. "Yes, Beckett, I did call you detective but if you don't explain soon and tell me where you're at, their will be no Detective on your name."

Kaleb got a look of fire in his eyes. "Excuse me but you have no right to talk to her like that." Just like that, Kate thought, all hell broke loose. Gates and Kaleb started shouting over the phone lines, Lanie and Alexis were trying to get everyone to quiet down, Ryan, Esposito, and Castle were trying to get Kate's whereabouts, and Kate's phone was ringing.

"Everyone SILENT!" Kate boomed over the heard of noise. The second the voices stopped chattering Kate picked up the ringing home phone. "Hello?" Kate heard the chirping of Officer Todd and the whispers on the other end of the phone call with Iron Gates and the rest of them.

Kaleb smiled showing glowing white teeth. "Hey Katie, is that your new boyfriend? Officer hottie as you described him to me earlier?" Kate shushed him as Nick was still talking.

"Of course I'd love to go dancing with you tomorrow Nick. Alright, see you at 7. G'night." She hung up the phone and slapped Kaleb. "Shut. Up." Kate rolled his eyes at his smile and took her cell off of speaker. "Fine, if you must know, I'm at my families cabin in Ohio. I just need some time away, alright? I have a lot going on in my life an I just blew my top. Oh and Lanie, shut up. The guy at my house, his name is Kaleb and the guy whom I have a date with tomorrow is Officer Nick Todd. Thank you very much." And with that Kate hung up the call.

She turned to Kaleb and glared. "Go to bed without supper. Now." Kaleb kissed Kate's cheek as he passed before walking to his room.

"Don't worry sis, I still love you. Even if you did hide my identity from your best friends." Kaleb then disappeared into his bedroom.

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Au/N- SO KAte has a brother? Do you like this idea? A long forgotten brother? Hmm? Yay? Nay? Please, leave a review and tell me.


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